AFTER A HECTIC five days of counting, the general election is over, and all 158 Dáil seats have been filled.
It’s been a wild ride, and we’re sure it looked mighty strange to the outside world. But it’s OK, guys – here’s what you need to understand.
1. It’s perfectly OK to ask your local candidate out on a date
This Donegal Independent candidate didn’t get a seat, but he did get a romantic dinner for two, so it all evens out.
2. Campaign merchandise only needs the most tenuous connection to the actual campaign
Tennis balls. Because he’s ‘on the ball’, yeah?
Wet wipes. Because… Ah here, you get it.
3. Recording your own campaign song is essential
Politicians in the US get popstars to support their campaigns.
Irish politicians BECOME the popstars.
4. Expanding into short film is even better
5. And looking for votes through poetry is pretty standard
6. Political spats can be centred around the members of One Direction
Please observe the sh*tstorm this caused on Twitter. DISCOURSE.
7. And people gladly take voting advice from men wearing plastic bags on their heads
Can’t see the video? Click here.
Hon the Rubberbandits.
8. Counties can be re-zoned at the wish of a candidate
“Waterford, Co Kilkenny.”
9. A leaders’ debate on the national broadcaster can be completely derailed by a creaky floorboard
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Someone came in and fixed it during an ad break, but not before #thecreak began trending on Twitter and a whole parody account was set up in the floorboard’s honour.
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